


A Bowl Of Ice Cream

by paralleltales



Series: chenle is hurting and jisung is helping [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Anorexia, Chenle baby i am so sorry, Eating Disorders, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Ice Cream, M/M, Recovery, god i need to stop hurting them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 14:16:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15341613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paralleltales/pseuds/paralleltales
Summary: It was just a bowl of ice cream.How did this happen?





	A Bowl Of Ice Cream

Jisung had devoured half of his dragon fruit cone by the time he’d remembered that Chenle was there. He looked up sheepishly, only to see Chenle’s adorable face scrunched up in frustration and cute, slightly-filled-in, eyebrows furrowed. The older was glaring at a single scoop of chocolate as if it had killed his family and spit on his family. Jisung knew exactly why, but he didn’t want to breach the subject and ruin what had been a peaceful day. He didn’t even know what to say, despite all he had seen during the past year or so. To make it worse, they were in public- it wasn’t exactly acceptable to just start cradling and comforting your more-than-a-friend-but-not-labelled-yet-friend in front of a packed ice cream parlour.

“So uh, how’s your ice cream?” He could feel his own awkwardness radiating from those words.  
“Creamy.”  
“What about icy?”  
“Meh.”  
“What do you mean meh? It’s ice cream? I-c-e?”  
“I want to be able to chew the ice, Jisung, like the filthy animal I am,”  
“You’re muted, unfollowed, blocked and uninvited from my super sweet sixteen.”  
“I can’t help it man, the anaemic in me does as he pleases.”  
“Tell him to shut the fuck up and enjoy the cream.”  
Chenle pulled a strange face.  
“Ah, the cream, my mortal enemy!” His tone was playful, but there seemed to be genuine panic behind his eyes.

The only reason that they were out on an ice cream date was because ice cream was undoubtedly one of Chenle’s favourite things. Or had been anyway. Since he’d gotten pickier about his eating- Jisung could not and would not say that his sweetheart was sick- ice cream was the first thing to go, along with virtually everything else that contained dairy and sugar. Both of those had once been the duo’s life blood- so Chenle has essentially cut all food but salad out. He’s never intended for his elder’s bunny nickname to be accurate, but it was his fault for jinxing it. Even now, he was almost tempted to call him a bunny. Sure, he laughed like a dolphin, but now, dressed in an oversized blue jumper (even though everything was oversized on him nowadays), pastel yellow jeans and round glasses, Jisung’s first thought was _Easter bunny_. In his head it made sense- Chenle was even sweeter than the chocolate ice cream he seemed to be ignoring.

“It’s gonna melt, Lele.”  
“Good. Let it melt, I like my ice cream soupy.”  
“I’ve discovered so many things that I wish I didn’t know about you in the past half hour.”  
“Don’t crunch shame me!”  
“That is not a thing!”  
“I say it is- so it is!” He started batting his eyelashes and pulling his sleeves down to form sweater paws- Jisung’s one true weakness.  
“I can’t argue with the president, can I?”  
“Nope! That’s treason, and I won’t forgive it no matter how cute you are!” Chenle had a look of pure triumph on his face, and for a second, Jisung had stopped cringing.

Which was quite frankly, a miracle.

But he couldn’t ignore the elephant in the room- it was obvious that the setting was upsetting Chenle. He only ever got talkative like this when he was uncomfortable, he was normally more than content to listen to Jisung instead- and he was more than happy to talk to the older about everything that had happened that day and his inevitably strong opinions about quite literally, everything. But here they were, cracking awkward jokes and pretending everything was ok. It was as if they hadn’t seen each other in a year, even though they saw each other first thing in the morning and last thing at night. There was a moment of painful silence, both of them in their own heads. The ice cream had melted and gone soupy, just as Chenle liked it.

“It melted.”

He swore he could see the glint of a tear in Chenle’s eyes.

_________________

It was just a bowl of ice cream. He had gone through quite possibly hundreds, if not thousands, of them as a child. Why was it suddenly so scary? A year ago, if Jisung was ignoring him in favour of food he’d pout and whine and cling until the younger had to acknowledge him. Now? Now he was grateful that Jisung was seemingly paying no mind to him. Until he caught him glancing out of the corner of his eye. _Great_ , he thought to himself, _he’s only pretending not to notice me_. Chenle was grateful for all of his bandmates’s concern. From Kun’s incessant mothering, to Jaehyun’s awkward dad-ness. But sometimes he wanted to get away from it all. Wanted to tell them that some days he just couldn’t do it and to let him eat his handful of rice and quarter of a Reece’s cup in peace. But he knew what response he’d get.

_It’s hard because you’re sick._

Winwin had said it to him with the gentlest smile he had ever seen, yet somehow, it stung even worse because of that. He hated that word, hated the fact that he’d rarely had to hear it until that fateful day in the practise room where his world came crashing down. Along with the rest of him. He still flinched thinking about it- how he’d made everyone in the room panic because of him. But most importantly, that day had made him feel resentful. The fact that it took him hurting others to make him realise that what he’d been doing was wrong- and the fact that he felt like he had to finish what he’d started anyway. It only affirmed his belief that he was, at his core, a bad person.

It was just a bowl of ice cream. Yet here he was, thinking about how letting a single scoop of chocolate melt made him the official Worst Person To Exist, Ever. Sometimes he wished that he could just make food poof away. All it ever did was make him feel bad anyway. But then he’d die- and as appealing as that sounded- he didn’t want to upset the rest of NCT. Especially not his Jisung. Never his Jisung.

So he stomached the protein shakes and meals three times the size he’d like- but he could only go so far. The idea of an ice cream date had sounded perfect in his head, but when they got there every single red flag had been raised. There were far too many people for him to feel comfortable eating in front of, the smallest size was enough to feed a horse, and Jisung had ordered chocolate for him. He was completely and utterly done. He was at his breaking point.

It was just a bowl of ice cream. But it was too much and for once, the idea of crying in public no longer terrified him. The salty tears were a welcome contrast to the sickly sweetness of the chocolate and he was sure that the glasses and his overgrown fringe hid it from Jisung. Until he felt a strong arm snake around his waist and pull him closer.  
_________________

His heart was broken. It truly was. To see someone he cared about deeply so upset over something as minor as ice cream hurt. It was never meant to cause any harm, it was simply an idea he thought would be fun. He’d never once factored in the idea that maybe the other didn’t want to do it- didn’t want to do something that was a combination of all his fears for ‘fun’. He nuzzled his face into the mess of soft, blonde hair and sighed deeply.

“Are you good?” Was all he could think of. Despite the circumstances, Chenle still laughed at his stupidity.  
“Do I look like I’m good?”  
“Is this a trap? It feels like a trap.” His attempt at humour drew a small smile from the other.  
“I’m good. It all just got a bit much, I guess.”  
“I’d imagine.”  
The two of them stayed latched onto each other in the booth for a few minutes, just simply enjoying the other being there.  
“I’m proud of you.”  
“Why? I burst into tears over a bowl of ice cream, for fuck’s sake.”  
“Would you have even walked in here six months ago?”

Another awkward silence.

Today was just a day for them, it seemed.

“Can I get a do over?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Can we come back another time? So I can actually taste the ice cream?”  
Jisung giggled. Sometimes, with all that went on, it was easy to forget that they were kids.

That they would do stupid things and learn from it.

That they had their whole lives ahead of them to heal and be happy and whole.

And with the bill paid, they walked out silently, hand in hand. It felt warm and safe and above all-

Sweet. Chenle always gave his counsellor a word to describe his day.

Today was sweet.


End file.
